Friday, March 21, 2008

I Remember and Always Will

I woke up this morning with a tear in my eye. Today is an emotional day. You see, Miss Emma, today was your estimated due date.

Approximately forty weeks ago, a truly miraculous event occurred. Your Mommy and Daddy had wanted you in their life for a very long time. They were even told by the doctors who specialize in “special orders” that it was just not possible. They used words like “improbable” and phrases such as “highly unlikely” and “chances too small to measure.” But our family always said, that we needed to be told no or that is was impossible before we would prove the people wrong. You are a blessing from the very beginning.

I remember being told that we were pregnant. I also remember being so happy that I was scared it was too good to be true. I remember the look in Darren’s eyes when I spoke the magic words we longed to hear and say. Daddy and I even hid the good news from the family until you were with us for thirteen weeks. I remember announcing your expected arrival to your grandparents on Grandparents’ Day. I also remember telling your Aunt MiMi and the priceless look she had on her face. It felt so good to celebrate our love for you even then.

I remember seeing your heartbeat on the screen and the wonderful it made then. And even though you were elusive with the ultrasounds, I remember how absolutely beautiful you were then.

I remember how much your taste buds influenced my life. Like your Daddy, apparently you don’t like onions. I couldn’t tolerate the smell. You also have my love for green apples and cranberries. I was fortunate not to have morning sickness but then again, I was already blessed by you so I would have welcomed even the morning sickness with open arms.

I remember how even the silliest things to a whole new meaning because you were already in our lives. Christmas changed. New Years changed. More importantly the word family took a whole new meaning.

I remember being told to expect complications. You see, other doctors had told your Daddy and me that it wasn’t a matter of could we conceive but should we. I remember being so careful with everything I did to ensure your safety as well as my own so that I would be here with you.

I remember the cold that started it all. I remember going to the doctor for the cold but finding out about high blood pressure. I remember taking it easy and researching articles that made me more uneasy.

I remember being hospitalized the first week of the new year. I remember having your Daddy there for me not letting either of us out of his thoughts for even one second.

I remember being hospitalized with such high blood pressure, I think I raised the nurses' blood pressure. I remember each needle that was used and each and every medication provided to make certain everything possible was done to keep you inside as long as possible.

I remember the moment that Dr. Nesbitt told me that today (1/14) was THE day. I remember never being more frightened and happy in my life. I remember each of every moment of that day between that moment with Dr. Nesbitt until I heard you cry in the delivery, a cry that were told just hours before not to expect.

You see Miss Emma, you are not just a blessing; you are a MIRACLE.

So on this glorious day, the day of your expected arrival, I thank God for miracles. I thank God for the miracle of your conception, the miracle of your birth, and the tiny miracles of having you in my life each and every day!


Tana Hauerland said...

Dee Dee,

Wow, you not only brought a tear to my eyes, but several. I'm so glad things are going well for your family. I love reading your blog & watching Miss Emma grow. It is so amazing!!! Keep up the wonderful work you are doing for your special little girl---she is definitely a miracle & truly blessed to have such wonderful parents. Happy Easter to all of you!!!

Tana Hauerland

Jenna Hooker said...

How beautiful! Emma is truly a miracle and a blessing. I love reading your blog also, and keeping up with Emma. Your doing a great job mommy!